One thing that the last couple of days has taught me is how destructive secrets are. My dad kept them and it tore our family apart. Mom and Lilly kept them and it tore me apart. I’d kept my feelings for Lana a secret for years. Everyone knew, but so long as I didn’t say it, the secret was still intact in my head. After all the damage that secrets had done, I couldn’t keep that one any more. I had to tell her. That was what broke the ice. I’d clung to that secret and it had kept me in my shell. Now I’ve let it go and I’m not really much different in my head, but I’m not afraid that someone is going to find out about how I feel. I want them to know. I’m proud of it.”“And how DO you feel about Lana now?” she asked directly, watching my face.“I love her,” I said simply. “I’ve searched every book I could find to put words to my feelings and that’s the only word that works. I fell in love with the idea of Lana 9 years ago. I told my mom less than an hour ago that I was lucky because since. Ever since the incident with Claude and his friends a few days earlier, things had not been going well for her. Word of what happened had leaked out and was being whispered from one end of town to the other.Suddenly, the men who had been happy to squire her around town turned and walked the other way when they approached her on the street, women in town — be they respectable or not — looked at her with disapproval in their eyes.She needed some place new, some place where she could start fresh, some place where her frenetic dreams of riches and romance could be realized, some place a long way from Claude. some place like El Paso.The bustling cattle town on the Rio Grande, tucked into the farthest corner of Texas, was alive with promise, where a fortune could be made if one knew who to meet and where to look.Moreover, El Paso was more free-spirited than staid old Santa Fe, which had been the seat of colonial power in the area under the Spanish, then the northernmost outpost of Mexico.
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