So stop thinking ... just accept that we robbed you of the word 'no'. Do you understand that, Mrs. Austin?"Juliana understood. She'd understood from the beginning. Since she'd chosen to go along with the deal, she knew she'd given up choice. She could live with that; it kept her innocent – she had no say in it.But she never expected what it would do to her. That there would be this undercurrent that started flowing the first time she gave in. She'd been so naïve. She'd never thought what it would do to her body, bypassing her mind. How it would push her to go beyond acceptance. It made her like it; she craved it – and not just the arousal and the orgasms.Ever since she fled the farm, Juliana thought of herself as courageous, a bold, free spirit. Now she knew she wasn't – not at all. Here, at this bizarre villa she liked being told what to do – she liked the taking away of responsibility. Or was it the other way around? That her body liked so much what was being done to it because she. ... Enough of these thoughts. The bell rang just as I say that. Ishould be getting to my next class.... The rest of the school daybecomes the same. I heard a few more things, like a few girls gettingjealous of me, which I laughed a little inside at the thought of thatactually happening. I also didn't see anymore of my abusers. Other thanthat though, school was the same. It ended with a final ring; I got onthe bus, and finally arrived home. I went to my room, fell on my bed andlooked at the ceiling.So this is my existence. This is what will happen every day if I juststay the way I am now. Did my being a girl really change anything? Abit, yes, but it was largely the same. Although it would be harder if Iwanted a friend now, as I'm sure that a lot more guys would want me as apartner or possession more than as a friend that would love me. I'm surea lot of girls wouldn't get me either since I still largely think like aguy (at least I think). Nothing had really changed in my mind exceptthat.
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