My cheek was scratched and red. My limp hair hungaround my face. I was too tall, too skinny; I had big hands and feet.I knew I couldn't do what I had implied I wanted to do. But thealternative was either slow self-destruction or suicide.I shook myself. "You do not talk about suicide. Now shut up and look atyourself."I showered and changed into the panties and pajamas. Checking to makesure that the alarm was turned on I climbed into bed. I thought aboutAnne's next to last question.Was I gay? Well I certainly fantasized about sex with men. I alsofantasized about sex with women. Most often when I dreamed about beinga woman I fantasized about the type of car I would drive. "Oh well" I laughed "I guess that counts as autoeroticism." I turnedoff the light closed my eyes. I felt sick to my stomach and my head hurtbut that was normal. Sleep would come. Chapter 4: Two PeopleA few days while later I was reading an alumni newsletter that I had abrilliant thought. It was as if a light bulb. Currently I’m sitting on an uncomfortable stool in the biology lab where my biology teacher is droning on about boring science crap that I really could care less about. I’m looking forward to not being in a classroom tomorrow. Combine that with it being my last class period of the day and twenty minutes till the bell, who could possibly pay attention to school?I look around. At the lab station to my right are my neighbors and best friends Lewis and Eric. Lewis lives two houses down and Eric lives next door. We first met back in kindergarten and have been fast friends. I’m a little unusual in my class in that I don’t circulate in the usual girl cliques. Lewis is asleep. This is also Lewis’ second senior year as he totally flunked out last year. His parents don’t want him at home during the day so they made him come back. He is pretty much destined to have a third senior year as he is usually asleep when he is in class.Eric is in between us age-wise and is drawing stick figures in.
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