Oh my God, what had I done? I felt fear, excitement, lust and a hundred other emotions all at once.His mobile number flashed on the screen and before I could back out, I quickly texted my address, leaving out only the house number, which I promised to text once he let me know he was outside.I don't know why I did this. I think I just wanted to retain one last bit of control and leave myself with a way out if I got cold feet."See you soon" flashed up on my screen and he exited the chat room.I stepped out of the rear door onto my patio to light up a smoke, my hands shaking. I loved the way my lipstick left traces on the cigarette and was grateful for the calming effect of the nicotine.Stepping back into the house I set about tidying up the living room and when satisfied it was acceptable, I turned my attention to the mirror. A few touches here and there were all that was needed.Being busy, stopped me thinking about what I had let myself in for, but the hour soon passed and my phone. Look at you! Oh my you are hot and botheredand you can't deny it. You are coming out of your shell, my child. Youreally are becoming my daughter, right in front of my eyes."Just then, my mom started to cry a little bit. "I always knew that youwere my little girl, but of course I would never have pushed that uponyou. I was proud of you for trying hard to be like a man, and it hurt meto see you play that losing battle. This woman (Ms. Jennifer) has helpedyou become who you are, Beth. I am so grateful for her! Now I can seeyou the way God intended you to be. I never thought I would see thisday. So lovely, sugar! You are beautiful"As my mom said these words and began to cry, I couldn't help but joinher in the water works. It felt so amazing to know that my mom knew ofmy struggles and my rejection, and was always there to support me andlet me be whomever I needed to be so that I could be myself and find myplace in this world! Even Jennifer started to tear up, murmuringsomething about.
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