Since my childhood wasmostly a miserable and lonely existence,then, had the subject of mygender confusion been confronted by those adults to whom my well beingwas entrusted,then life may have been a little more interesting. Isuppose as it is with most children who suffer from this "affliction",(as I viewed it at the time) I thought I had the best kept secret in theworld. Only with hindsight as an adult did I realize it was the best keptopen secret in the world! The taboo subject never to be talked about inmy presence, but no doubt a topic of conversation discussed in myabsence. Looking back as an adult minus my childhood naivety I nowcomprehend all the innuendos and subtle mickey taking I received from mypeers and adults alike, not to mention the unexplainable hostility fromcertain quarters.Within that new found hindsight which comes with maturity of adulthood Ihad to dispense with the delusion that my mother had no idea of myinclinations. In my own defence I only knew her in the. Then I think he was a little embarrassed. He was single though. Maybe he just couldn’t help it, so he looked at her. “Well, I’m just attracted to her I guess, sue me. I know you said she’s been having problems with her husband, but I’m sorry. I’m a guy,” Lee replied. “Well, maybe you are. But quit starring at her ass. She maybe having problems, but she is still married. She thinks you are a really good guy and you are. I’d like to keep it that way,” I said. “OK Amber,” Lee replied. Then we both we up towards them again. “You two OK?” Karen asked. “Yes, we’re fine,” Lee replied not looking at Karen. “Are you OK Lee?” Karen asked. “Yes, I’m fine. Amber just wanted to talk to me real quick,” Lee replied looking her this time. “OK then. Well let’s keep walking,” Karen said. Then we all started walking again. Once again the kids and Lee went out in front of us. “So what was that about?” Karen asked. “Nothing don’t worry about it,” I replied. “Do you smell that? I think I smell bullshit,”.
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