The light splash of water on the forehead was slowly turning into the pounding of a hammer.The product placement war was still ongoing after all of this time. It had ebbed and flowed, but it was nowhere near a conclusion. Staples like sugar, flour, and rice were all on the bottom shelves while excessively flavored substitutions, salt-free, sugar-free, and slow selling products were within easy reach. The holiday season was approaching and, in some circles, that meant baking pies and making cookies. A little old lady, suffering from osteoporosis, bent down to pick up a five pound sack of sugar. After grabbing it, she couldn’t straighten up. The pain as a disk slipped was horrible. She screamed loudly and she cried a bucket of tears. In her agony, she made a scene.In a world of cell phones, a video of her agony was posted on YouTube. It went viral. This wasn’t one of those videos that showed a cat doing something funny, a person doing something stupid, or any of those common causes for. Uh, no problems here, except for some leakage,” I finally replied. “No bleeding?”“Nope. At least not that I can tell,” I said, still trying to be discreet.“Good. Glad to hear it. Well, I thought you should know that the guys loved you and they would like for you to be a part of our… Club on a regular basis, if you’d like,” he said. “Really? Wow. That’d be great.”“Wonderful. Our next meeting is on the 6th of next month. I hope you’ll be there.”“That’s sounds good to me,” I replied, suddenly aware that my wife was now walking up the hall towards me.“Excellent. So, barring any, um, medical issues that you might have between now and then, I’ll see you on the 6th.” The way he said it suggested that he was hoping I’d stop by the office again. Maybe I could make an appointment, you know, as a sort of a follow up to my physical…?“Ok,” I replied. The wife was now in the room with me, so I had to sound as innocent as possible.“Bye,” he said.“Bye, doc,” I replied.“Who was that?” my wife asked.
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