“Uhm. The product is currently in use. That’s basically the reason I’m calling.”“... ... Oh.” Pause. “Uhm, I’m sorry. I’m not sure I understand you correctly.”“I’m sure you do though, Jason.”Pause. “Sir, I don’t know-““Jason, the orchid-shaped thing is in my ass. It’s in my ass, it’s vibrating, it feels disturbingly good, but it also won’t come out and I’m freaking out, Jason. Sorry to confront you with this, but I thought I might ask for help from you guys first before I take the most embarrassing ER trip of my life.”Silence. “Okay.”“Look. I’m really sorry. I am literally more embarrassed than I have ever been in my life, and that includes that time I shat myself at my mother-in-law’s BBQ and unsuccessfully tried to pin it on the cat. I would absolutely understand if you laughed your ass off on my account. I’m sitting here, in the bathtub, with only my shirt on – which I should take off because I’m sweating like a nun on a cucumber farm, to be quite frank – and a vibrating toy. “Every time I tell myself I’m not going to do that again, I get pushed off the wagon.” We laughed and I gave her a quick peck.“I’ll call you and Melody later to say goodnight,” I said to Lissa.I did okay on my history final. Not an ace, but I won the point. I’d missed Dr. Bychkova’s last Art History lecture while I was painting and, in a way, I was sorry it was over. I just wish the lectures hadn’t been so boring. My final project in Concepts was done and Ms. Brock suggested again that I take her 3D class next year. That reminded me that I needed to slate time with my SCU advisor to set my schedule there for the fall.Another practice. Allison changed her tactics and I spent most of the match staring at her behind in a pair of ultrashort shorts. The big thing about this workout, though ... no, not that ... Lissa had us play facing the opposite direction so the glass wall was in front of us. That threw me off my game more than watching Allison’s cute ass did. Lissa said I needed to get.
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