Caring andraising children were also hammered into me. My chest at the time hadgrown slightly, like prepubescent girls with the small mounds andlarger nipples, therefore the corsets and Basques just enhanced whatwas there already. My waist and hips had since my youngest days beenthose of girls, I had been teased mercilessly in my socially acceptableand snobbish school. Then it was decided that I should be schooled athome instead of attending such an institution that would allow suchunprincipled behaviour to be unleashed upon me." Everyday I was helped to dress by my auntie and her maid who probablythought the whole thing a great amusement. But she never did give awayanything, just that soft small smile that she looked at me with whenhelping me into my pantalettes, or fluffing my petticoats for me,endlessly." The lessons kept pace with my maturity, I portrayed a young lady nowso my deportment and demeanour must be in-line with that at all times,I was told. I learnt to dance and sing. " Then I risked her wrath by asking her anobvious question, and thereby actually extending the discussion,our first since those hideous months before we'd agreed never everto mention anything about it again. "Why do you ask?" I asked,delicately. She scarcely noticed. Her turn to be evasive. "Differentreasons," she said with a dismissive shrug. Then she realized thatsounded too unforthcoming, too secretive, so she volunteered, "Ifound one of your clip earrings on the kitchen counter a few daysago, so I just wondered. It must have fallen off when you werefixing dinner, and you never noticed. It told me you're stilldressing up day times. Though I didn't need to be reminded ofthat, of course." I took another chance. "No?" I asked. Then waited for thestorm. None came. "Of course not. You're always leaving lipsticked kleenex inthe bathroom. And often I can smell your perfume when we're in bed,when you don't shower first. Always the same perfume, *Enjoli,*which.
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