“You!” said Emily accusingly, bending down to pick up the shirt and holding it out in front of her. “I blame you!”“For what?” Judith asked, clearly not sure what to expect.“This is partly your fault,” Emily scolded, shaking and accusing finger at Judith. “How could you let me wear this crap? In public?”Judith stared at the bed, her mouth working a little as she processed the situation.“I thought you liked it.”“You should have told me I look about ninety! What sort of friend are you?”“Em, you always look neat. I thought…”“Neat! I looked neat. And how many guys want to have sex with neatness, I ask you?”“Uhm…” Judith cleared her throat. “Clearly, not as many as you’d like.”Emily threw another armful of blouses – a mustardy floral, a khaki-with-frills and a navy box neck that looked like the wrong end of the fifties – on the bed. “None, that’s how many,” she said grimly. “How am I supposed to get somebody to marry if I can’t even find a man to have sex with me? What’s wrong with. She had already chased me out of the house when I first came over here because I told her she didn't know how to cook chicken like we Frenchmen did. As she was chasing me with the skillet, she hit me and reminded me after each bang that I wasn't in France now, and that this was the South. If I didn't like it, I could starve or eat in town. It took two whole days before my grandfather could get her to let me back into the house and near her kitchen. I walked on eggshells for another month until she forgave me. Needless to say, I learned real quick that she was worse than any instructor I had in the Legion, and that iron was a lot worse on the skull than a wooden truncheon. The knots took a lot longer to heal and the headaches were a killer.Of course my grandfather thought it was all a big laugh. He warned me that Myrna could run faster at her age than any man on this end of the state. He also said that I better get used to her cooking, or I might have to go back to France to eat.
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