I was an escort." I... well... that would explain a lot." I replied, then started regretting having her stick her tongue up my ass."Right. The sex was good before we married because he paid me for it. The dumb fucker fell in love with me and wanted to 'save me' from my profession."Apparently, her high-class veneer was peeling away, the curse words effortlessly rolling off her tongue."So, you were a cheap hooker that got lucky." I was *NOT* a cheap hooker!" she snapped. I apparently hit a nerve."I was a high-class escort, with high-class clients. They paid me $1,000 a night!" Ah, so you were an expensive hooker that got lucky." Fuck you." she said calmly."Sorry, I can't afford you." I quipped, "And I'd like to remain disease free." Go to hell, asshole." she cursed, "I never fucked any of these guys without a condom. I'm cleaner than you are."I have to say that I was relieved to hear that, but I didn't respond."So, listen," she continued, her repeated use of the word 'listen' grating. It wasn’t until after we got married, I found out the result of the allergy. We had gone out to eat and she had unknowingly eaten something that had a significant amount of milk in the recipe. She had medicine she takes that will help her if she knows about the milk. It settles her stomach and keeps her from tooting a tune from her backside. However, that particular night, she was already in bed and had fallen asleep while I was taking a shower. When I lifted the blanket to get in bed, my olfactory nerve was stretched to its limit with the aroma she had released.I immediately got back out of bed, went into the living room, and emailed the restaurant asking for the recipe of the meal she had. Somehow, she had no clue it had dairy in it and I decided I needed that recipe in order to get her back for the video she sent. The restaurant sent me the recipe the next day and a message stating they were pleased I was happy with the food and looked forward to seeing us again.Knowing I.
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