This shit is fucked up!" I’m sorry…" Karajan looks at me firm again. "I didn't mean to, honest!" I lie. Then I gave him a little smile and we rub our noses together. We suck on the blood creeping down my lip. It tastes really good."That’s a good girl. I love you Hannahbanana." I love you too Da…" Don’t even." Okay!"Now Karajan hits the play button again. Karajan likes to watch the 1968 Franco Zephirelli Romeo & Juliet on VHS tape constantly. Everyday. I think it’s kind of weird, honestly--and even pedophilic--but just a little. Plus, I don’t like it when I’m in a room with someone and they aren’t paying attention to me. Karajan is the only one in the whole world who doesn’t pay attention to me. It makes me confused, and sad.But I know how to get his attention.“Daddy?”Karajan is picking me up now with both arms, and I wrap my long slender arms around his neck. I'm sad--Karajan isn't even angry; When he's angry I know he loves me, and that time I really really I deserved. After explaining my situation to the physician, how Ifelt and my intentions, he put me on a maintenance dose of Premarin so Iwouldn't change back to being a man. He said I had been getting a hefty doseof a****l strength estrogen, even absorbed through my skin, I was lucky Ididn't suffer any organ damage to my body. Other than the changes I hadexperienced, I was OK. I admitted that I had become happy about the changes.Ben met a few friends and neighbors and introduced me as his "mail orderbride". I asked him to explain that. He said a lot of single men in smallisolated towns advertise for woman in big city newspapers looking for brides.Many woman respond by coming to visit, to get acquainted. Some don't like theisolation and leave immediately.But, some do stay to get married. That would account for my presence. He saidhe tells everybody I just "dropped in" to check him out. Well, I couldn'tdeny that. Nobody questioned him further, and I was warmly welcomed as a girlfrom the city,.
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