Any building or property that left us alone got left alone in turn. This was a change from the previous islands; we may have friends in charge here when we left and we didn’t want to completely destroy the city.Any building or property that attacked us, though, got cleaned out. Pillaged, looted, and burnt. Probably raped, too. The captured ships brought freed slaves from Hunter Island and the mainland, they brought any cargo or loot that the soldiers wanted to carry, and they brought more than a few women who probably weren’t rescued slaves.I had to mentally say “not my problem” and shrug. As long as they came from places that had attacked our men as they went by, they were probably the only survivors from their homes. It was either carry them off as loot, or kill them as troublemakers.It was getting on towards evening of our second day on station when Eaglet came out with orders to land Mayor Michael and his men, and then take the warships to sweep the rest of the island. We’d been. No more thinking of our bodies intertwined beneath the sheets of my bed. No more thoughts of kisses and soft caresses pressed against my aching flesh. No more wishing for his hands to roam eagerly over every inch of me. No more fantasizing of pianos and a home filled with love, safety, warmth, and family. All of these are merely dreams that can never be and if I hold onto them then I will never know peace. We will never be together and I know that, with every bit of my being, I know it but God, how do you let it all go? Something so strong and sure? How do you implore your heart of hearts to see reason and allow yourself to heal? How do you tell it to speak with your head and actually listen? To understand that this pain, this appalling heartache, could and will happen again if I continue to do this to myself. I know my dream is a warning of what will, undoubtedly, come to pass for me and that it is yet another attempt at my head trying to bombard me with rationalism. This fact is.
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