"Why not me?" the hunchback asked."I want the kind of priest that slays vampires with holy water," I said. "Not the kind that rings bells and befriends gypsies and yells about sanctuary."The hunchback seemed offended for some reason. "I could slay vampires," he said. "If I wanted to. I don't hold with that kind of cowboy nonsense, though. I pass out the Communion wafers, give confessions, and bang the nuns. That's it." Nuns and gypsies?" There's no such thing as gypsies. Why are you dressed like a sexy nurse?" Because I'm a sexy nurse," I explained, sticking out my blood-red tongue."No, you aren't," the hunchback insisted. "What are you, twelve?" I'm twenty-six." Sure you are. If you're twenty-six, why don't you sit on the filthy hunchback's lap and tell him all about your sins."That tore it. The freakish dwarf could lie about being a priest all he wanted, but I wasn't going to stand for him blaspheming against Santa Claus. I felt the blood within me rise up and talk to the Night.My. A few minutes later when we were resting on a log my dear sister asked, “Have you had a blow job from a chick—or should I say—a good blow job where you are actually forced to blow a load of semen into somebody’s mouth?”Remembering my brother’s advice from years earlier to not admit to anything and thinking of the couple of bad attempts at blow jobs that local girls had attempted and the only really great blow job I received was from an older man who had offered me money in the park late one night to suck me off, but gave me the best head I received for years for free, I said, “No,” not actually lying.She began to rub my dick through my shorts and said, “Remember the lesson I gave you years ago?” I nodded yes and she continued, “You’re going to school and you will probably get a lot of these. I want to give you a standard to measure them by…”She then pulled my quickly stiffening dick out of my shorts and put her head in my lap and began to expertly lick and suck my hairy cock and.
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