”“One of these days, Mister, you and me gotta sit down and talk,” she said.“Could not agree more,” I said.“You’re a serious history buff, aren’t you?” said Kari.“Hmm, kinda,” he said. “I read a lot.”“I love Rome,” she said. “It is so interesting.”“Yes,” he said, “especially down here in the ancient part.”“What’s that big building on the top of the hill there?” she said.“That is the ruins of the palace of August Caesar,” he said. She nodded.“Let’s walk down that way,” she said, “toward that big arch.” They did so.They were in the shadow of a huge archway. “So, do you know what this big building by us there is?” she said.“Yes,” there’s a sign right there.” He said.“The Senate House?” she said.“Yes, the ancient Roman legislature met in there,” he said.“I’ve heard of that building. It’s where Julius Caesar was killed, right?” she said. “It’s in a Shakespeare play. I saw it, the play, not the assassination,” she said, and laughed.“Yes, it was in the play, but no, he was not assassinated in. It is mid-winter now in the fourth year of no more Julian. If he hadn’t been under doctor’s care, we don’t know what would have become of him. He has slit his wrists twice now and sleeps rarely. We take turns holding him at night, trying to keep him warm. But even in the hottest nights of mid-summer, he is freezing and is like ice. So you can imagine what it is like for him here in snowy cold fourteen degrees winter and close to Christmas when he and his British friend and partner were the closest, for he had always associated Christmas with England, for that matter, it’s just about impossible not to with books and the media and all. We won’t tell him it will get better. For it won’t. We won’t tell him anymore that he will come out of it, that Julian is in a better place, that the car crash in the outskirts of Paris was over four years ago and the pain is long gone from Julian, but Julian is long gone from him as well, and the anguish and the bitterness he feels, though he knew it.
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