I worked with Neil and as a result had got to know Nikki quite well too, we often socialised together as couples with me and alison regularly meeting up with them on a saturday night. Unfortunately unbeknown to most people Neil was a heavy drinker when alone at home, and more often than not he became moody and violent with Nikki when in this state. One night she called me to say that he was in a particularly drunken state and that she needed a hand to get him to the bedroom because he was getting aggressive with her and he needed to sleep it off.When i arrived at theirs Nikki let me in and between us we managed to get Neil into bed where he literally passed out. Nikki asked if i fancied a drink before i head off, so we made our way to the kitchen to make coffee. It was there then that i found myself looking at Nikki in a way that i had never done before. She stood there with her back to me and as i looked at her dressed in her short skirt, black knee high boots and vest top, i found. And I flipped my hair and gave them the glint in my eyes they had asked for. They claimed I was like a body without soul. I was doing my best, I honestly was. But when they would arrange the floodlights and zoom in the cameras I would automatically lose my identity. Every click flash was adding up and I ended each day just like those mannequins you can style any way you please. My eyes would lose all glimmer and the best they did was cover it up by extra-sparkling eye shadow. They barked I was a normal girl. ‘She ain’t got nothing special about her. She’s like the girl next door, there’s millions of her out there.’ I could hear them complain and bad mouth, but every time they would come to the conclusion that I was the best when the light was on. Professional all the way. They fussed I was like a book without a plot. ‘We need someone to whom the world can relate. People want to have a fairy tale, you know. They want somebody just like them, but in perfection.’ I would nod, silently..
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