I, in strange, theatrical madness cursed her for her lack of love profession, for loving my face, my hair, my strong, powerful body, but not that crude disgusting thing lurking in my pants. That silent, grotesque lump of God-given clay yet to be molded, for all hope, to die in the dust with the humming of the cortex, those strange fibers of consciousness wrestling angsty teenage love, my sweet Kimberly... she'd dated someone I'd thought my friend. Society's law kept me from killing him. I would wake up in the night and punch the floor in anguish, homoerotic fear and shame... I killed him a thousand times over in my mind.... His form extinguished by the hood of my car raging into him outside of his jock club, the mma fighting club where I'd first gotten homoerotic thoughts about him. I held it back and back and back... until one day, I thrust my index finger into my rectum and imagined myself dominated by all those who had flaunted their large male members. Even then, though, my. King size.”“So two... episodes could be going on independently at the same time?” she probed.“Yes, I was wondering why they didn't suggest a hotel,” I said.“Exactly,” Tilly replied. “Two double beds. But they're real homebodies. They feel safe there.”Saturday night came and this time we took some extra booze: tequila and triple sec plus some limes, so I could make margaritas We briefly considered taking some grass, marijuana which a friend had grown in his greenhouse along with the figs and Chinese gooseberries, but on reflection, we thought Geoff and Arlene would be somewhere between horrified and terrified at the presence of what they would classify simply as “drugs” without differentiating between a casual, relaxing smoke and something more dangerous. They had rubbed along in the same world as us for the same length of time but had been on a very different path – and they were looking good on it, so good for them.“Oh my God, margaritas,” Arlene squealed when I took out the.
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