I spent some time getting settled and made the bed with fresh sheets. I found where everything was and then I decided to check the recordings from after we left. There was nothing there except Barb crying herself to sleep holding the pillow from my side of the bed. Good. Maybe she understands some of what I’ve been through.I checked the hot tub and then hit the gym since it had been days since I’d touched a machine or a weight. It felt good to get the blood pumping. I showered and went to bed, not feeling much of anything. I set an alarm, but wasn’t really concerned about getting up except to be around for Doris.I took a few minutes to look at the feed before I got myself some breakfast. Barb looked like shit. It was still hitting her that I might actually be gone for good. I sent a text to Jane and gave her my new address. I decided to do something fun as I sat in the kitchen with a bowl of cold cereal. I had a Twitter and Instagram because of fighting. I had a small, but growing. I laid down my arms, reaching for half a cigar. ‘Well sugar, there is one guy in the immediate area who does believe. I never have anything I want, because I am not horny enough or hard pressed enough or skilled enough. It is not even about the sleeping together.’ ‘My problem is I spend less time listening to my heart than I spend listening to my mouth, or listening to experts on You2b or on a blog explaining how to be an idiot most of the time. I let other people advise me on what I want. When you and I could be sitting on a park bench, enjoying a soft drink and watching someone else’s kids enjoy their fleeting childhood.’ I only wanted a date. Everyone who is male thinks a date is the world when it’s a short term project. Maybe it can turn into more, but let’s lie like broccoli, and let the future take care of itself. We walked back to our car. There was a breeze. She looked at me standing beside her car. My own car was a few feet beside me. She tossed a paper back romance novel.
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