That would be giving in. That would be losing. Inside, it’s loud noise, the smell of beer, a hundred clouds of beautiful women that I dress not to attract. Fleeting moments of contentment as I drift towards the bartender, half a step in one girl’s perfume, half a step in another’s. They never get beyond pretty in sight and smell, because that would destroy the illusion that I have been building since I walked through the door. That I don’t need anyone. The beer is cold and cheap, because even if getting drunk in the place you work means you have to be somewhere that for forty hours a week, you dream of getting away from, at least you get an employee discount. The Ranch Bowl might suck mightily, like a practiced hooker, but two dollars for any beer and the possibility of a good band any night of the week is too much to pass up. And I’m poor. I sit with the people I get drunk with and I get to be the quiet one, the one that sits somewhere he can watch the door. We drink and it’s my. Here is how we started. Not the usual introduction to the girl you would someday marry.One day a buddy of mine in tenth grade asked me if I’d ever been laid. I told the truth and he said, “Here’s your chance.”He took me to a house on the next block where there were two girls and two guys. One of the girls was Patti who I knew a little bit from being in some of my classes. I didn’t know the others. It was obvious what they had been doing. They were all naked and the guys’ dicks weren’t hard. For teenage boys there is only one reason for that.We stripped and my buddy headed for Patti who was the most attractive. He’d fucked her the day before with these same two guys and she’d asked him to come back, half-joking “bring a friend”. So here I was.I went with the other girl, her name was Jody, and she flopped on a bed and spread her legs. It wasn’t as romantic as I had fantasized my first piece of ass would be, but it felt really good even if she was slick with cum already. It didn’t take.
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