”“Her name is Kennedy - and Mr. Helton - you’re going to love her smile.”“Mrs. Helton, you’re going to love her pussy smeared all over your face as I fuck her from behind.”...”Hi Kennedy. I had no idea you would be helping with the valet parking tonight.”“Hi, Sherry. You sure do look sexy in that peasant skirt and blouse. Wow - Wow - Wow - I’d love to have titties like yours when I’m a senior. You’re so pretty - and girl, you better watch flashing your bald pussy like that.”“What would you give to have a pair of titties like mine and an ass to match?”“I’d give up my cherry to the man or woman who could make it happen. I wish you wouldn’t tease me about things like that. You know I’m never going to have any titties anyway.”“Go around to the driver’s side, so Jerry and give you a tip. Just be ready for the shock of your life, and if you ever breathe a fucking word about how and when this happened, you’ll be turned into a toad with warts all over your ass and your titties. Oh, and before. "It did. My syntax was terrible, the dialog was flat and so on and so-forth (my main character had three different names.)* There was one in particular by a "Vickie" that hit the nail on the head. The nicest part: "You're so self-consciously self-contradictory, self-vaunting and self-evasive, I hardly know where to begin. So I'll won't begin. I'll end.Forget yourself. Just write the best you know how and let your readersjudge. Some will be grateful." Vickie, keep on writing. Every paragraphwas a punch to the gut - no, not so much a punch, as it was an attempt toremove a very large distasteful blockage from one's inner airway. Thankyou. Don't apologize to anyone. In the mildly paraphrased words of TinaFey, "Bitch is the new black! Remember those nuns at school! You'd hatethose bitches, but goddammit you'd know the capital of Vermont!"I'll leave a quick bio in a later chapter. As a teaser, let me creditGlenn Duncan with the best opening lines in any novel (seen below,) asseen in Death.
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