When I asked her why she was doing that she explained that she felt really badly because my first sexual experience had been such a disaster. (She had not been around on Saturday afternoon.) She explained that she thought sex should be a mutually satisfying experience not one where one person hurts and exploits the other. She went on to offer to show me how sex could be safe, enjoyable and non-exploitive. I already knew that I enjoyed oral sex with men so I decided to try it with Anna. Here was another chance to learn new things.I asked Anna what she wanted to do first? She said to lock the door and get naked. Next she suggested that we spend a few minutes lightly running our fingers over the other’s body. We were to tell the other each time a sensitive area was touched. I was still sensitive in all the same places that Jon had found 2 months earlier plus Ari had made my whole lower abdomen tender. I let her think I was still sore from Friday night. She said the second. .." But you need to get used to being poopy for short periods of time,it'll just be a few minutes. Besides, smart mommies don't immediatelychange a poopy diaper." Why?" I cried."Because... there's probably more to come." She took a few more bitesof her food as tears streamed from my eyes. The stickiness of the messcombined with the knowledge of having shit all over my skin didn't sitwell with me. As she stood up to start cleaning up, I began to smell ittoo, and wanted to gag.As she turned on the sink to wash the dishes I felt another cramp. Notknowing what else to do, I lifted my butt off of the seat as much as Iwas able to, as more sticky mess came out of my butt and into thediaper. I watched through tear filled eyes as she wiped down the trayof the high chair, took the empty bottle and washed it out, and finallycame back over to me. "See, we would have wasted a perfectly gooddiaper changing you right away."I just sobbed as she picked me up. I felt torn from wanting to hit herand.
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