I took a few minutes rubbing her clothes with my hands and crying into mom's blouse. I cried for awhile there, until my tears dried. I know, I can see mom anytime I want, but it's not the same as seeing her alive. She may have the same memories, but she is now no longer my loving mom, she is now Sarai the Lili. Composing myself, I started to turn the folded clothes around and shifted the hanging clothes. Nothing. I checked some other places, including dad's closet. Yet, it was nowhere to be seen.I sat on the bed and started thinking. Then I decided that it was stupid to search aimlessly. While this house isn't as large as those posh houses in LA, it's still larger than I can manage. I weighed my options and decided to call Tell to ask if she knew where mom put it. I had thought of asking mom herself, but I didn't think that Uriel would let me leave as easily as last time. Mind you, last time was pretty hard too.I went to the living room and dialed Tell's cellphone. She picked up. He was an artist. He was adreamer. I imagined him going down on a guy. Worse images have poppedinto my mind."So, Jason," said Kelly, the blonde in the corner. She was with Rashad,her husband, a soft-spoken African-American man. "Do you like steak?"Jason shrugged. "It can be a nice meal," he said. "If you get the rightcut. You know what I'm talking about, right John?" No, Jason," I said. "I don't." You've never tried gay sex? Not even once? A guy like you?" What do you mean by that," I said, sitting upright. I was only 5-7, andI guess I looked a little, well, soft. But I didn't like beingstereotyped.. "A guy like me? And no, I've never tried it." Nothing, John," he said in a voice that said he didn't believe me. Butit was true. I had been with two sexual partners, both female. A dozentimes, people had thought I was gay, but I wasn't. Maybe it came from anatural passivity."Oh, and let me tell you," Stacy said. "There is nothing more beautifulthan watching two guys together, watching.
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