I’ll wear a blouse with several buttons undone to give just enough of a hint to what’s underneath. Somehow in my fantasy I’m very good at this seductress tease act, though in reality I don’t believe I could ever do a thing to goad Matt into a sexual riot. But the teasing isn’t what I like about the fantasy. It’s where the teasing gets me. In my mind I’ll look at Matt with these big innocent eyes and see the heat that has crept into his face. In my head I can hear his breathing deepen and it drowns out all other sound. I swear when I think hard enough I can even feel his hands as he grabs me and nearly bruises my lips trying to get inside of me. I imagine one hand holding my wrists above my head as his other creeps between my legs. I don’t have to dream up the wetness he’ll feel between my legs because by now my dream alone has made me drenched. He would rip away my panties, forcing his knee between my legs. The rough texture of his jeans would abrade my soft skin only adding. Just past him, in the hallway, was my mother. She just turned and walked away. I knew then, I was never going to be accepted by my parents.I packed up my things that night and spent the night in a motel. I cried the entire night. It was hard to know that you had no choice in my feelings and that my parents would never be accepting of who I am, even though I was still trying to figure that out.The next morning, Beverly was phoning. She was my best friend, Greg’s mother, and the only other person that knew about me.I didn’t answer the first three times, but then I finally relented. She had heard from my mother that I was kicked out and that she called to tell me that I was welcome to stay with them as long as I wanted.I stood pathetically outside of the motel with my three bags when Beverly pulled up in her SUV. She walked right over and gave me a robust and comforting hug.“It will be alight.” She assured me.We arrived at her house just after noon. My best friend, Greg, came up to.
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