You let him rape you. No! she screams and I jump at the abruptness of it. Before I even know what has happened, she is on her feet, body rigid and tail lashing furiously. Thats it girl, let me hear you roar. No what, Ida?! What? No, you didnt let him rape you? No, youre not weak? I scream right back at her, Because from where Im standing, it looks like youve been letting men piss on you your entire life! Seems like dying hasnt made you any tougher. Can it even be considered rape, if you dont fight back?! You are weak! NO! This shriek is louder and her fingers ball into shaking fists of rage. Shes almost there, she just needs one little push. Then show me! Show me how strong you are. You cant, can you? I snarl, watching her teeth bare and nostrils flare, as I egg her on. You cant do anything, because youll always be the victim. You will always be we- A solid blow to the jaw shuts me right up. I stumble, the strike has me bewildered and surprised. Of course, Id been expecting Ida to. But I did not change my ways, in fact things worsened. As I was now 18, I became attached to alcohol. I drank at home and in excess at parties. I became the kind of sexual deviant that I used to look down on, having pointless sex with girls who couldn’t care less. It somehow made me feel like I was overcoming my two former loves, but it was just a pathetic mask for my pain. The love I shared with Zoe and Kylie was irreplaceable, no amount of meaningless sex could make up for the true feeling of love. Subsequently, my grades began to drop. I was a proud B+ student before my fall into darkness, but since I had forsaken myself I was scraping the barrel for a C. But I didn’t care, I exchanged my former values and persona for a façade which made me look like a happy man in front of Kylie and Zoe. I didn’t know if they saw through me, but part of me wished that they would pull me up from the darkness I had fallen into. Two months after we broke up, I saw Kylie at a party. In resentment of.
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