. I’m tired of not having sex with Liz and now she’s trying to make me believe she’s having her period? I looked things up on the internet and found out that was bullshit so I complain, “Liz, I have some serious concerns about our sex life.”Liz looks at me and frankly says, “Bernie, you might not believe this, but I’m still sore. And I sure as hell don’t want another baby immediately. Since I’m feeding Desiree, I sure as hell can’t go on the pill so you’d better put condoms on that fucking list of yours.”I want to complain, but the look Liz gives me tells me if I ever want to have sex again I’d better keep my mouth shut. On a hopeful note, I do add condoms to my list.Liz begins to get Desiree ready to go to the doctor as I get myself ready.Present – Samantha – Vic’s house for dinner and visiting StacyOn the way to Vic’s house I say, “We need to make a couple of stops first.”Vic replies, “Okay where are we stopping?”I order, “First let’s stop by the restaurant and pick up a bottle of. He also happens to be five inches taller than me. He is muscular where I am scrawny. He is tan, while I am pasty white. He is hairy, whereas I am almost completely hairless thanks to Heather’s ‘scorched-earth’ depilation campaign that she conducted on my upper-body and genitals. The only impressive, somewhat masculine, thing about me right now is hanging between my legs. Unfortunately, no, it’s not my penis. However, dangling well below my modest prick, are two beefy testicles. Heather calls them my eggs. Not the most imaginative nickname for testicles I know, but for me it’s actually apt. Each one of my now hairless nuts is as big, if not bigger, than a jumbo sized egg. Heather has measured. ‘Holy crap!’ exclaims Mike, breaking the silence. ‘And I thought our dog’s testicles were big.’ ‘I know,’ says Julie. Turning to my wife, ‘Are you sure he isn’t part goat? I heard that’s what they look for in award-winners. You’d probably win a prize or something if you entered him in the county.
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