“It’s not about less pain. It’s about more pain. It’s about accepting the pain, letting it happen, because it doesn’t matter.” She paused again. “You don’t matter.” She said those last words in a breathy voice, and turned to look at the water.“I’m….I kind of understand…but I kind of don’t,” Tetenia said.“The point of penance isn’t to make worshipping Him less painful. I thought that too, once, but it’s not. The point is that worshipping him is painful, it’s a privilege, a gift, it should be painful.” Jyushka turned back to Tetenia. “The pain doesn’t go away. You just experience it and keep going.”Tetenia tried to wrap her mind around this. It reminded her of when His Supremacy had punished her for not thanking Him while serving Him. He commanded her to crawl home to punish her for not thanking Him for the punishment (among other things), even though part of that punishment was that she couldn’t speak, so she couldn’t thank Him immediately. She had a moment of clarity then, but was. .”I turned and looked out the window and down into the street, “your friends are corrupt and using you. If you do not wake up someone else will take your place and you will find yourself on the gallows. The smuggling stops, the drug dens stop, the selling of bond servants into slavery stops.”I looked at him, “I have three months to show a change and six to correct the problems in my district. Now I can report you are helping or opposing me. Start cleaning house your grace before the queen does.”He hesitated and then nodded, “I ... I will ... thank you.”He walked out with slumped shoulders and I turned to the message tube running down to the desk sergeant and whistled into it. It took a moment before he answered, “sir?”I looked at the badges, “send a runner to the two missing lieutenants. If they are not here in one hour they do not need to come in at all. Next I want the senior sergeant as soon as you can find him.”He cleared his throat, “the lieutenants came in but ... they left. The.
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