Well, maybe it's the work. This time he's going to Cambodia, north of Phnom Penh, working with the Vietnamese, helping the Cambodians to upgrade the water supply network there, Joe says. He's only to be away two weeks this time, but the trip after this will be for almost three months. I'm quite proud of him really. It's sort of heroic, I guess. At least, I say to myself, I've got something to think about while he's not here, on top of what I want our relationship to be, whether it is going where I want it to go. Assuming I know.Maybe I'm just trying for too much. Most of the time we bump along quite happily, but I think we're missing out on something. Joe is a loving guy but, well, sometimes it seems like he's happy to let things just drift along. I like to have time to chill out and relax, but I just feel there ought to be more to it than that. When we got together I guess his steadiness and the quiet, determined, way he approached life were some of the things that attracted me to. .. I was just a teenager and lived in a small little redneck town, not far from Boise. I was fairly normal I suppose, I played on the football team, rode dirt bikes, hunted and fished. I was a bit on the nerdy side, I suppose, I did well in school, was always writing poetry and playing the occasional game of D&D with my buddies. We were semi poor, though not on the verge of starvation or anything as dramatic as that. But we did live in a trailer house, I wore hand-me-downs and most of our possessions were used, though it really never made much of a difference to me. I had from a very young age been intensely interested in girls, long before my friends I often dreamed of kissing and dating the girls at my school. Ahead of my time I suppose. I often read my mothers harlequin and cheesy romance novels, attempting to learn and emulate the men in them. I was determined to grow up to be the perfect lover, strong yet sweet, hard yet tender, well learned and physically sculpted..
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