But it did; I nearly passed out as I cried out, a half wail, half scream of ecstasy, flooding into her with need that had built up for so long while she laid everything out to me. She lay on top of me, exhausted herself. I could feel tears dripping down on my shoulder from her eyes, and she was whispering that she was sorry, so sincerely. Exhausted, I whispered back to her that I loved her, that I would always love her.Chapter Eleven:Full KnowledgeWe didn't have time to talk much about anything the next morning. I think we both stayed awake for a long time last night, both of us lost in our own thoughts of all that had just happened; but neither of us pursued a conversation.I know that my mind was in turmoil; especially when I thought about how turned on I'd been as my wife disclosed so much about the 'affair'. It was hard to call it an affair, but her words kept ringing in my ear when she said her reason for telling me about it: "Because he said he would continue to use me, only if. I am in a cabin in those mountains when the rains come, and I am thirteen and in love with my cousin of fourteen. Of course the family is there with us, and we are visiting.While the rain falls, sentimental songs play on the ancient phonograph. The words are as foolish as the mannered voices singing them, but the word love occurs frequently, and it has recently become a powerful word to me. So I gaze dreamily away while everyone else is laughing at the quaintness of the music, and they tease me about it. I long for older times when thirteen-year-old girls were thought marriageable women and could be dead in childbirth at fifteen. That short, intense life could be richer than dreams of roses, but I'm expected to live a long time and not to discover my sexual self for many more years... maybe when I'm twenty-one it's supposed to happen... and at thirteen that seems like another century.In the stormy evening when our families go off to bed one by one, leaving us to lantern light and the.
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