She needs me now. I approach her. She’s borderline hysterical. She was thinking about him. That’s what she usually calls him. She can’t stand his name. Sometimes she’ll refer to him as her ex, but usually he’s just ‘him’. I make sure she hears me approaching. She looks at me briefly, her eyes blurred with tears, and nods. She turns away. I come closer, slowly, and wrap my arms around her. I have her arms in an ‘X’ pattern and I hold them there. I hold her close to me as she cries. She can’t move, and she continues to bawl in my arms. She probably saw a photo, a post, some sort of trigger. Or she could have just been thinking about high school, about him, about all the different ways he touched her, about all the pain he’s caused her, about all the pain that is still here, years later. About the pain she fears may never go away. She’s shaking in my arms and I’m all that’s holding her steady. Here, held so tight, she is able to let go. She is able to not be as strong as she always. Besides, she had a boyfriend - and she hated going down on guys.But at that moment, her boyfriend felt so vague, so far away ... and Mark was so close.Toni watched as the light turned red and Mark ran across the road, shaking his cup, grinning at the older ladies as they handed over coins, thanking the business-men as they handed over crisp bills.It was all for a good cause.She shook herself out of her reverie, and looked up. The red car was getting closer, and she knew that was her target. It was being driven by an older man - he was dressed casually, not wearing a suit and tie. Exactly the kind of man she could flirt with.Yes, until the red car got close enough, Toni knew she was safe to distract herself by watching Mark.She’d never even considered it before, but she somehow knew that under the shirt they’d given him for volunteering, Mark was definitely hiding some muscles. He’d be slender, toned - more Jackie Chan than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The kind of body that Toni loved.She.
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