Mary Christmas: Yeah, I remember that. He got out three times to have a piss, then climbed back in. The twat First Elf: Twat. Mary Christmas: Twat. All cast members under four feet high turn towards audience. Cast: Boys and girls, Santa is a twat! Audience: OH NO HE ISNT! Cast: OH YES HE IS! Audience: OH NO HE ISNT! Cast: OH YES HE IS! Audience: OH NO HE ISNT! Cast: OH YES HE IS! Mary Christmas: STOP THIS NOW THE LOT OF YOU! I like a joke, but fuck a pantomime&hellip,. (Stops, and slowly looks around ironically) Anyway, all you short-arsed little fuckers get on the back of the sleigh. Carole, youll have to ride shotgun with me up the front! First Elf: Carole, did you mean what you just said about it being your first time on the job if you know what I mean? (winks) Carole: Yes, its my first time away from home, Ive never done it before so I dont know much about it. First Elf: Well, Im a good teacher, you know. (winking furiously) Carole (in horror): But, b-but, youre a midget! First. So I called Murphy instead. He was a friend and he was out there with you. I was hoping he would have a logical explanation for what I saw.”She added, “I told him about what I had seen and he told me that he was the one who had sent the pictures. He said that he had agonized about it. But he had to tell me because you did that to me at EVERY conference. I won’t get into details about the lengthy bout of crying that ensued but long-story-short he volunteered to come back early from the conference to help me deal with this.”Her anger was increasing as she said, “I picked him up when he got back and he took me to his place and showed me six more of those hideous photographs. I am ashamed to admit that they made me so furious I visited a divorce lawyer the following morning. Murphy set it up with one of his college friends. I was extremely grateful for how sympathetic and helpful he was.”I was thinking, “Yeah right, he was eager to help me out of my marriage.” I decided that living in a.
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