However, honestly, I could just be telling myself this to ease the guilt I’ve had ever since. I ruined their relationship, and our friendship. I did not see the need to kick Josh out, and truthfully, I needed the help paying the rent. Besides, we had begun to be friends in the months that he was there. The way I saw it, it was just as much his home as it was mine. I never really thought about the kiss again…No, that’s a lie. Sometimes I would think about it late at night, trying hard to remember the exact way his lips had felt moving with my own, and the way his solid body had made me feel when it was pressed against mine. But that was all it was to me, another almost hook up at a party. I thought that was all that it was to Josh too, but this was the day when I found out how wrong I was on that assumption. I sprang up from my unconventional position on the floor and attempted to readjust my clothing as quickly as possible, to savage what little dignity I had left. Josh’s. Now, I was never a great ballplayer; I'm not very tall -- just 5-foot, 10 inches tall now as an adult, and just 5-7 when I entered high school -- can't dribble the ball behind my back and my defense was always not much better than workmanlike. But... "Aw, there's always a place on the team for someone who can shoot," said Uncle Mike one afternoon, watching me bomb in baskets from beyond the 3-point line that was designated by a crack in the driveway.This was a few days after the incident with the baseball bat, and my mind was a maelstrom of conflicting impulses; a new-found urge to take risks, and the same old fears still hanging on with their fingernails."So you going to go out for basketball this year, Jack, me boy?" asked Uncle Mike, lighting up a Lucky Strike."Uh, well, I'm not sure," I said. "Don't have a lot of formal experience. Wonder if the coach will give me a chance." Fuck that!" snorted my uncle. "Listen, bucko, remember this: there's only one good play in basketball: the.
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