He would parade around his flat in whatever gear he fancied, wear lipstick and his wig and get used to walking in heels. He masturbated whenever he dressed up and that amounted to about four to five times a week.Meeting the outside world was a gradual progression, but it happened. He eventually left his flat and walked outside to the bus stop where he caught a bus and rode ten miles to a pub on the outskirts of town. He reasoned that someone in a pub close by might recognise him.He felt quite cool sipping a Gin and tonic, after stopping himself from ordering a pint of beer, not that that would have been stupid but it was certainly less prevalent where he lived.He was enjoying the evening on his own. Just being someone new, someone different. He liked his reflection in the mirrors behind the bar, he loved the feel of the clothes he had on and for the first time in a long time, he didn’t feel like he had to make excuses to anyone. This was him.The pub visit was to become a regular. The two of them both had “intimacy issues” that kept them from revealing their deepest desires and fears. He had assumed that marrying Ginny would overcome her insecurities, but apparently not.He turned so he could watch Ginny. The way she gesticulated when she talked; the way her fingers constantly toyed with a stray curl of hair that drove him to distraction; the way she filled out a tight pair of jeans and threatened to spill out of her v-neck top. There was no way he would ever leave her, and it wasn’t just the physical attraction she held. Where ever she was, it was like home, like home should be. She was loud, boisterous siblings and quiet, intimate moments. She was contented domesticity and raucous parties. She was the girl next door and a scarlet seductress. She was the embodiment and realization of all his fantasies and hopes and dreams. He needed to find a way to explain that to her, but he thought it would be best if it was just the two of them for that.
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