Jake got out his notebook and read aloud fantasy number 10. I was to dress up in a short, tight dress designed to show off all my "assets". The outfit was to include lots of make-up and high heels. Then Jake and I would go for a long drive in the country, have dinner at a restaurant and return home. I was to walk and act sexy plus everybody that saw me was to think I was a hooker. I said no way. Just plain no! For the next hour, everybody reminded me that I had agreed to go along with the drawing.The following night after work, Jake along with Susan and her husband went to the mall and bought stuff for me to wear. On Saturday Susan was to help prepare me.Bright and early Saturday morning Susan came over. The guys left for a few hours. I took a bath and shaved my legs. Susan handed me a note from Jake stating I was to shave everything completely bald. I have to admit it was fun and seemed very naughty. Ten minutes later I looked like a little girl down there. Susan helped me put on. ." I mean to think to myself but seemingly by mistake I speak it out loudly as my Eyes widen up you realize that this might not be the right thing to say to a suicidal person. He just chuckles and shruggs it off. I start moving towards him. "You look like shit that's been eaten by a dog and puked out into an even bigger pile of shit" he says, eyeing me up from head to toes. "Funny, a jumper talking to me about how my life sucks" I answer, although not meaning to say anything once again."Yes, I am going to jump and end my life, but it's not how you think. My life doesn't suck, it's quiet the opposite: My life is too perfect. For about 20 years I have lived THE life. A life everybody dreams of. But unfortunately, I have come to notice that I miscalculated. What I thought would bring happiness only made me lonely.What I seeked most, seems like a foolish dream nowadays. I am sick of this life I can't be sure of if it's mz own accomlishment or not. Idon't want to continue any longer, but.
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