“There are children here! How are we suppose to spread out gay agenda to the children if your over there swearing like a sailor? Wouldn’t you like to see some of these little girls grow up to be tender legal baby dykes?” Suddenly, Jill’s cell phone rang. “Hello” said Jill. “JJ, Jill! Oh thank god!” said the voice on the other end. “This is Kat.” Kat was Jill’s 20 year old baby femme dyke. “I’m kinda busy, Kat.” Said Jill “I’m at the Nebraska Lesbian Ice Cream Social and we’re about to run out of “Rocky Road” ice cream. I’m about to kick some loud mouth know-it-all earth crunchy dyke lesbian’s ass” “Well, this is really important! Pleaded Kat. “I woke up and its July 29, 1014. I’m at Kleidion and the Byzantine Emperor Basil II has just defeated a Bulgarian army and taken 15,000 Bulgars prisoners and he’s dividing them into groups of 100. What’s going on here?”“The Byzantine Emperor Basil II was also the leader of the Greek Orthodox Church. Byzantium was. The dresser drawers had literally sailed through the dark of the bedroom. One of them, a smaller, top drawer had just missed me, turning in the air and spilling it’s contents all over the place as it raced past my head, before bouncing off the wall and landing on the bed. In stark shock, with my heart jumping out of my chest I stared at the thing, motionless in front of me. After a moment, when I could breathe again, I moved myself cautiously to the edge of the bed, placing first one foot among the scattered drawers, making sure not to step on anything, then the other foot, then standing up. Normally, dresser drawers don’t just fly out all by themselves, but I had one hell of time convincing myself at that moment, because, right in front of me, they were strewn everywhere, most overturned, one of the larger ones standing on end against the corner of the wall opposite the window. Hightailing it to the living room, I spent the rest of that night in an uneasy way, with the lights.
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