I could have been 5 or 10 feet watching per profile as these thick balls of white smoke would effortlessly glide and disappear into her nose. Typically, her inhales were followed by long jets of smoke shooting out her nose as she began another drag on her cigarette. Watching her smoke, was odd, almost unnatural, but absolutely captivating, exhilerating and arousing to me, in a way which given my age, I could not understand. Watching her smoke, as well as my mother and her other friends, but particularly Aunt Ann was just, became captivating to me. I didn't understand why I would become erect and have to run to my room to play with myself. It was fascinating to me.I then remember, thanksgiving maybe, where we were all sitting around the dinner table. Aunt Ann's husband smoked a pipe which she kept in her purse. And when he wanted his pipe, he would ask her to light (or refill) his pipe. She was sitting across the table from me, as I watch he fill her husbands large curved pipe,. She takes a deep breath sort of a wake up from the thoughts or sweet memories and returns to the vast amount of work waiting for her input and analysis. I think she is a bit too dedicated but that is just me. I too return to my work and try to focus on my own tasks and not on her lest I displease my boss. As the end of the day approaches I once again find myself watching her and waiting, looking for that delicate smile or a twinkling of her eyes as recognition. The smile on her face as she leaves masks a slight headache and sadness. No, not sadness, perhaps maybe missing something that she doesn’t yet realize. I finish my own work and change over to go home and hope to see her again later that night. During my drive home, I replay the days events, some good some bad. Making mental notes of the things I would need to do the next day, or changes that would benefit incorporating into the company for time management and worker safety. Eventually my thoughts are drawn back to her. Those.
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