I told Sue that I would wean myself off the pills in the next couple of days. I had to know what was going on. She and Dan came and saw me a couple of times. ‘To the best of my knowledge, Kyle never harmed the kids. After I was returning to somewhat normal, I talked with Molly and she just said that Kyle was mean. He always yelled and told them to go into the other room. In the weeks that followed, I was more back to myself. Kyle tried acting nice to me and better to the kids. ‘I even had to wonder if I had been hallucinating before. Maybe Kyle wasn’t all that bad. The place was somewhat clean for a man who had lived alone. He was promising me the world if I would just give him a chance. I didn’t know the truth until later. He even asked me to marry him. We went shopping and he started buying all sorts of furniture, he said it was all for me. It was beds for the kids and a new bedroom suite and living room set. I had nothing left of my old furniture. Kyle had sold most of it in my. But attracted I certainly was – and powerfully so. It was as though there had sprung up between us a link, a chord, a tightly stranded thread, a link that triggered – at least at my end it did – thoughts of slipping my arm around her, pulling her towards me, using the other hand to ease her face closer, close enough to kiss. It was nothing but sheer lunacy! There I was, sitting in a partially darkened hall, just one amongst an audience of around two hundred people, imagining I had somehow made connection with a woman I had never seen before – and imagining her allowing me to begin to make love to her… But that’s exactly what was going, all too uncomfortably vividly, through my suddenly totally bewitched and absolutely besotted mind. When the interval came I hurried out to the foyer, hoping against hope that she too might appear there – perhaps to greet some friends, but hopefully not family! But I was to be disappointed, although the youngsters did come through to receive.
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