I never had the chance to dress when with myfather so I took advantage of these weekends where I could be Carol allthe time.After unpacking the food and putting it away Donna and I went next doorto visit Mary Beth. As soon as we entered her bedroom I saw the dressfrom yesterday laying on her bed.She said that she was going away for the rest of the weekend and if Iwanted to borrow her dress now was as good a time as any. I figured Iwould wear it tomorrow before I went home.Donna and I spent the rest of the day at the mall and walking in the parkwatching the guys playing ball. We knew, at least by sight, some of themfrom the mall.After supper we, Donna and I, went to the town carnival. Donna said shehad just the dress for me; she called it her farm dress. I could see whywhen she showed it to me, and it did look good on me.It was a sort of beige with no sleeve and came to just about my knees,there was a sort of apron a bit shorter than the dress. Donna wore jeansand a tee shirt. We had. The first thing I saw was the towels spread out on the table. And more towels strewn about on the floor, stiff with what I knew had to be dried blood. And in the middle of the table itself, mostly covered by yet another towel, was my poor cat, unmoving."Oh," burst out of me inadequately. I stopped dead still for a moment and stared.What in God's name had I done?Last night's dream flooded back to me. It had all seemed so vivid. Somehow I must have started sleepwalking, and got up and grabbed the cat and put him on the table and——and cut him up and killed him!What the hell kind of man was I to have done such a thing? What kind of evil, vicious bastard was hiding inside me that I could have done this to a poor, innocent animal? I'd loved that cat! But I'd killed him in the cruelest way I could imagine. For God's sake, I'd vivisected him! But why? What terrible, unspeakable things had been going on in my mind that made me do it?In an instant what had promised to be the best day of my life.
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