Subah jab mein utha toh chhaya mere chere ke samane apne boobs chamka rahi thi aur mujhe utha rahi thi. Hum sab uth kar fresh ho gaye papa do haft eke liye business tour se out of station chale gaye. Subah 9 ya 10 baje tak chacha aa jate they. Chhaya apna kam nipta kar 12 baje ke chacha ke pass chali jati thi jaha par chacha phele hi son ek liye aa jate they wo room mera tha kyunki din mein hum sab mummy ka dyan rakte they.Ab yeh har roj ka kaam ho gaya tha chacha aate sone jate thodi dher baad chhaya chali jati ek din meine upper ja kar suna toh mujhe chhaya ke siskariya suni de rahi thi wo bol rahi chodo chodo chodo. Padh do meri chut ab meri samaj mein aa gaya tha I kyun chachi roj upper aa jati thi aur 2 ya 3 ghante mein niche jati thi. Shaam ko phir se mein chachi upper aa gaye sone ko aaj chhaya ke son eke baad mein uske baalo se khelene lag gaya mujhe poora maj raha tha aur mein aise hi so gaya. Issi tarah ek do din bit gaye din mein chachi chudai karati aur raat ko aaram se. Of course, I may be too close to the subject to judge itobjectively. All I know is that somewhere along the way I'd become restless. Lukaszhad stopped liking himself for some reason. Why? Up to the end nothingmuch had changed. Could it be that doing the same thing in the sameway, ~ad infinum,~ is the surest way to lose oneself? Was that logical,was it even possible? If not, what, then, exactly, made the difference?Is it because this present life is the first since my original one thatwasn't stolen by force from another person? Did the fact that it cameas a gift from one who loved me somehow make it truly mine, along witheverything that comprised it?One component of Eden's life was, of course, a son. There's somethinggratifying in that idea, but it's no bed of roses either. For onething, I'd always supposed that if I ever had a son he'd like me a gooddeal better than Gus seems to. Why is he so cold when I speak to him?Am I so unlovable, despite everything I try? Or is it.
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