Things got interesting in the fourth inning. Mike was up first. Justin earned his way back onto my Christmas card list when he drilled Mike square in the back. That one hurt.I was at a full run when Mike turned and got ready to charge the mound. He saw me and ran to the dugout. I stopped at the mound and shook Justin’s hand. Justin was booted, along with Moose. Bryan came in to pitch. We were up 4–3.On his first pitch, Bryan gave up a two-run home run to give Wesleyan a 5–4 lead. That’s where it stood until the bottom of the seventh, the last inning. Up to this point I’d been hit and had walked three times. It was time for some heroics. We managed to get a runner on, and there were two outs when I came up again.The crowd began their chant: “Ayaahhayaayaayaa ... THUNDER! Ayaahhayaayaayaa ... THUNDER! Ayaahhayaayaayaa ... THUNDER! Ayaahhayaayaayaa ... THUNDER!”I walked up in the role I’d been born to fulfill. Even my archenemy looked like he was about to be sick. I dug in with my back. I could barely stand to look at myself inthe shower.DAY 27I don't like what I see in the miror anymore. I don't reconize thatperson. I felt better after shaving my face. I shaved everything else,too. I feel so smoothe. It's the best I've felt in a week. Everything Iwear feels so strange against my skin. I love it!DAY 29Hair started growing back, and I got depressed again. Was gonna stay inbed, but the boys called to go out to pick up chicks, figured it mightcheer me up. It didn't. I kept staring at attractive women, noticingthings I'd never noticed before. How they moved, how their voicessounded, the shape of their wrists and hips. All I could think was thatI'd never have what they have. I musta been pretty drunk, but the feelingwon't go away. I keep looking at my hands and I hate them so much, thereso big and broad, like the rest of me. I thought that's what I alwayswanted, but I can't stand it. I feel like a monster.DAY 30Saw Dr. [Name Redacted] and told her about how I'm feeling..
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