After he’s baffled the final expert, his doctor turns to him and says, “We can’t work out why this is happening, but you’re probably going to die in the next three months. What you can do is cut out all fatty and spicy food. Get rid of alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, tea, and any other drugs. take walks every day, but make sure you don’t exercise too hard.”The man says, “Will that give me longer to live?”The doc replies, “No, but it’ll certainly seem longer.”“My missus dumped me ‘cos she says I’m too obsessed with football,” said the first fella.“How long have you been with her?” asked the second fella.“Six seasons.”A young Scotsman leaves home and moves to New York. After six months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. “Horrible,” he says. “They’re always yelling and screaming. I hate how they constantly pound on the walls and stomp the floors.”“How do you get by?” she asks.“I just relax in bed, playing me bagpipes,” says the Scot.A man is on trial for. Well... not today anyway," Amanda giggled. She was so close he could feel her warm breath on the head of his penis. Her tight hand, squeezing his throbbing hard penis, was so good and so frustrating at the same time. He wanted to thrust his hips forward, but when he tried she scolded him. "Stay still, hun..." she said firmly, as he tried his best, but instinctively pushed again, "Do what I tell you or you'll be going back downstairs to wait another week. Understood?" Amanda said, slightly perturbed. "Yes Ma'am," he said choking at the idea of waiting yet another stretch of time before having any stimulation. He was so embarrassed, as he stood there, his pants and undies down around his ankles, while Amanda sat on the toilet completely clothed, holding his penis. She teased him for a few more minutes, as he stood still aching to be masturbated. His frustration building, which Amanda was well aware of, and she loved every second of it. She took her hands away, and paused for a moment,.
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