The girl had just erased any hope of them going easy on her. He shrugged. "Go ahead and get completely undressed." His voice faltered as the girl's pink underpants struck his chest. He caught them reflexively, clutching them in a tight fist. Strangely, the part against his palm felt damp.The men stirred restlessly, shuffling their feet and elbowing each other for a better view. Beth Ann stood impassively before the men, idly smoothing down her short-cropped hair with one hand, and waiting. Acres of lush female flesh taunted the men, who licked their lips and began to plot. They each wanted her for their own, and wondered how they could make it happen.Kenny brought the men back to attention, urging Leroy, who hung near his elbow, to fetch the whips. The man grimaced at Beth Ann with an eagerness she should have found dreadful. Instead she grinned back at him and winked, and he left, shaken and puzzled.No one spoke for a moment, and then Kenny motioned to Beth Ann to follow him.. She grabbed her journal that sat on the table and an ink pen. She turned to a blank page. She stared at it for a few minutes before actually writing anything. Guilt ridden, she wrote these words: I am a slave to the pain and taste, feel and touch of sex. I breathe humiliation being thrust upon me like a child being chastised. Will the Lord ever forgive me for this habitual transgression – this lust of the flesh? I feel as though I can’t shake it. Every time I think I want to let it go, I give in and give up and let the pain, not the dominant, act as my master. Will this internal struggle ever end for me? It calls out to me in the middle of the night when I am lonely. I can’t believe I actually thanked God for bringing Cassius into my life because he enjoyed giving pain as much as I enjoyed receiving it. It’s a crying shame to say I can not see a day when I will let go of this thrill and rush I get with every infliction of pain to my body. Help me, Lord! The clock on the night stand.
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