He was so blunt about it. He totally didn't care about anything except himself." And you went along with it!" I was so lonely, I needed to get away... Brandon, it was awful! Once it happened I knew it was a mistake! I felt so terrible about it for days, they almost fired me from—" There was no stopping the tears now. It was over, she had lost, she had failed. "Brandon, I shouldn't've done it!" No, you shouldn't have," he muttered.There was no use. If she stayed around he might hit her. The thought registered panic in her mind (Brandon? Kind, gentle, loving Brandon? Hit... ) even as logic confirmed it (The Brandon I knew would never hit anyone. But then, the Meredith I knew would never sleep with anyone but him. Especially not Rick bloody Downing). "I... I'm sorry. I'll leave now. If you want to talk tomorrow... Brandon, I love you." Even as the words left her mouth she knew they had been the wrong thing to say. But she needed to say them. Needed to leave them with him, one last time,. Let's go straight to a salon. It's in the budget."It feels really strange the first time you meet and speak with someone you already know, but only from e-mail. I mean, I had never seen or spoken a word to Allenina, but through our IM exchanges, I felt I knew her better than almost anyone else I knew. Allenina was not your typical porn star. She was tall, thin, and elegant,but visibly buzzing with energy. If the world were filled with Alleninas, everything would be done correctly and be finished early. Her speech was graceful and clear: part Valley Girl, part British Empire. Her manners were graceful and charming, the legacy of a middle-class Hong Kong upbringing, and the polish of USC's art school. When she left Tran and me alone at last, in a dressing room of Trashy Lingerie on La Cienega, I asked Tran "Can you believe she is real and not some character?" No. I think she is a character." I guess we're all in the same movie now." I hope it's a romantic comedy." And not action.
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