This pair of hooligans from less than gentlemanly backgrounds were engaged in nasty comments on my feminine mystique and made no bones about whipping out their masculine equipment and placing their sticky tributes on the printout of my bent-over buttocks in front of my kitchen window. I found out about their escapades quite by accident when I happened to see a reflection from their veranda window that caused me to fetch my father's bird-watching binoculars from the hallway closet.Fortunately, I was in the shadows so they did not see me watching them from the bedroom window. My first reaction was a terrible flaring anger that made me want to run over and punch them both right in the nose. But, a cooler head prevailed and I realized they were both muscular football sized animals of the worst sort and that they both had long shafts that could make me docile under their control if I was so foolhardy as to carry out my impulse.I decided to play a game with them and pretended I had no idea. "This job offer was the best one of the bunch so I moved here last semester. Did you come down from the Great White North to play hockey?" Actually, I earned a scholarship in Computer Science, the hockey just sort of happened," I informed her."Well, an intelligent athlete, most impressive Mr. Stewart," she said with a grin. "I'll have to keep an eye on you, and maybe take in a game to see what all the fuss is about." Let me know if you need help with the rules, I'd be happy to explain the game to someone from the old country," I replied with my own grin.She laughed and had me hold her case as she put on her coat."Can I interest you in some lunch at our famous student cafeteria?" I asked her."Cheeky, aren't you, Mr. Stewart?" she asked. "Professors, especially new young women professors, shouldn't be seen associating with students, let alone having lunch in a public place with them. So while I might like to get to know a fellow Commonwealth citizen better, I must decline your.
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