‘My affair,’she repeated. ‘Yeah, you know,’ I said, ‘Mr TelephonePole.’ I looked her in the eye, waiting for an admission. There was a pause, then she burst into hysterical laughter. She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to smother the snort I knew would come. It did, as did a couple of others. She choked and coughed, laughed, and waved me away, then she looked me in the eye, and said, ‘That was YOU, you silly!’ as she dissolved into laughter again. She laughed for another minute or so, and finally said, ‘Hoo, hmmm, I’m very sorry,’ wiping her eyes, ‘but I can’t cheat on my Mr Wienerman,’ as she leaned over and flicked my crotch. ‘Mr TelephonePole,’ she added, wiping another few tears. I was by this time utterly confused. ‘I’m lost,’ I said. ‘And it’s my fault,’ she replied. ‘Hang on a sec.’ She reached over to the phone, snatched it up, punched in a number, and after a moment said, ‘Hey, Robin? Can you come over?’ Pause. ‘I have a problem.’ Pause. ‘No, it’s cool, but I need. It wasn’t.Barbara Jean and Cheyenne were on the couch chatting happily while my ex-husband and my son in law were down on the knees giving the two of them expert pedicures and pampering them while they sipped on mimosas.There were still a few other people in my living room talking and laughing and I came down and cleared my throat – once, twice, three times and finally shouted “Hey everybody, get the hell out of here!” and that cleared out most everyone.Barbara Jean looked up at me as if she were surprised I may be annoyed that at one in the morning they had a sex toy party still going on. I returned Carl Weathers to her box and said “Maybe you can sell that one in the slightly used category,” I told her.“Why, you can have Carl Weathers, Reba. I insist,” she smiled. “I am so sorry if we stayed late. We lost track of time, we were supposed to leave an hour ago,” she assured me.“You were supposed to never be over at my house again but that didn’t work out either,” I quipped at her.She.
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