Once we were underway, we found that food and water were once again woefully inadequate. This was probably a blessing in some ways. Once the bad weather came, many of the men had sea sickness and although this added to the already foul smell in the hold at least there was not much in their stomachs to be vomited back. We spent several weeks in the dark, fetid purgatory with the smell of urine, excrement and vomit, until we reached Japan. Every day would see more men die from disease and injuries since there was no medical treatment. I don’t know whether it was worse to see friends murdered or allowed to die lingering deaths. Each one seemed to take another bit of my soul, and yet there was no more shock left in me. The bodies would be taken up daily and thrown into the sea without even the dignity of a burial service. Our arrival in Japan at least saved us from the ship. Now we were back in close proximity with our captors though, and it was clear that they had nothing but contempt. I gave it to him and to my surprise he called me and we met for lunch yesterday. But he didn’t make any attempt at taking things further, and I left disappointed and a bit upset since I assumed it was my age and looks that made my lunch date realize that I was way too old for him. But still, I wasn’t looking for a partner but just a friend with benefits sort of thing. Nevertheless, as I watched him drive off I felt a horrible sensation deep within me and I have to admit I shed a tear or two and the realization that I’m just not the person I was.So, I went home and chatted with some friends on Facebook when to my surprise I got a text from my young friend asking if he could come over as he had a chocolate cake he’d bought from the store I’d mentioned over lunch was my favorite.He came over, but this time I was bound and determined not to get my hopes up, and just concentrate on the cake he was bringing over and assume he’d leave after we chatted a bit.It was the difference between.
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