”The son then asked: “But father, what about those ugly shoes you have on your feet?”“These are “babouches” my son,” the father replied “You must understand that although the desert sands are very beautiful, they are also extremely hot. These babouches keep us from burning our feet.”“So tell me then...” added the boy.“Yes, my son?”“Why are you living in Minnesota and still wearing all this shit?”When you’re seventy, ... who cares?I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business, when this FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, “You’re kind’a cute. You gotta phone number?”I said, “Yeah, you gotta pen?”She said, “Yeah, I got a pen.”I said, “You better get back in it before the farmer misses you.”Cost me 6 stitches ... but,When you’re seventy ... who cares?I was telling a woman in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.“Really” she said, “Go on then ... try.”After about thirty seconds of fondling she began. She walked over to me and asked if I was finished, and if I was, could I please put the lasagne in the fridge in the oven.I nodded towards the three suited employees. "That sexual health thing, you holding it here?"Mum gave a smile. "Possibly. It's a better venue, and it saves me money. The packs that they need to put together is ten grand, although I can put my logo on them alongside theirs."I gave a laugh. "So come here to learn about sex. Why not send your parents here for the evening?"Mum forced a smile. "It's a voluntary thing for your age group so I wouldn't get so smug."I laughed. "Ahh well. My mother spends all evening at the club anyway."Mum pouted and gestured towards the back door. "Go on, Rhea will be home soon, and I need dinner on. I'll be home in thirty minutes." Sarah has football practice," I said, and Mum glanced over at me. "Can we have ours when we get back?"Mum reluctantly agreed and I put my cleaning stuff back in the cupboard before running outside and up the.
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