But I am not sure why I fell so quickly into the arms of another man. That is what you have to help me to understand and deal with because I am afraid it will happen again, no matter how much I want to remain faithful.”Chelsea said, “WOW! It sounds like you have already isolated the problem. Do you think you will want to establish a sexual relationship with a man outside of your marriage again? Is that it?”I said, “Absolutely NOT. I am totally committed to Tom both in terms of the usual measures, like unconditional love, physical attraction, long partnership and unqualified respect. Also, frankly, my fidelity is not so much a matter of my love for Tom as it is an artifact of my own personal self-worth. Two seconds after I did it with Murphy I felt like a worthless slut and the guilt was crushing. Keep in mind that I still believed that Tom was fucking around on me, so those feelings were my own, not something imposed by external conditions.”I added, “And I told Murphy that it would. He then said “I shouldn’t get into the shower with you here I could get sacked” and I said “No-one will know you’ve just locked up” “Yes that’s true”, he walked over and switched it on, he stood under the running water and I could see all his back was caked on with mud, what struck me as odd was he actually had a sponge.As we washed ourselves he was talking to me about trivial things and I thought to myself ‘it would be beneficial for me if I could stay on his good side’. I walked over to where he was and said “Give me your sponge Sir I’ll get all the mud off your back”, he pondered for a few seconds and said “Ok but don’t ever tell anyone I could get sacked”.He stood under the running water as I sponged down his back rubbing all the mud off, remember I was only 15 and horny as fuck, I’d had relations with both boys and girls I simply loved sex and was always ready to experiment. I ran the soapy sponge up and down his spine and then ran it over his buttocks and then up the crack of.
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