I had the urge, even though I didn’t know how my lungs would take it. “A smoke ... could I bum a smoke?”Danny grinned, “Of course.” And then he handed me four cigarettes and his lighter and left, closing the door behind him.When I lit one of the cigarettes and inhaled, my lungs accepted the intrusion without complaint, and I let out a satisfied sigh.When the meeting was over, Danny returned to the Al-Anon room. He gave me another cigarette, and then he handed me a wad of bills, “This is from the members who where here today—just something to help with your immediate needs.” And then he added with a chuckle, “Like shoes”.After I thanked him and ask him to thank the others for me, he told me, “I want to introduce you to a couple of our female members. They have a two bedroom apartment, but they only use one of them, if you get my meaning. They’ve offered to put you up for a while. Will that be a problem for you?”Neil knew Linda and Lisa. It was no secret they were lesbians. I showed. “Uh-huh?” I replied steadily. I was sure I was about the find out what the problem was.“You know Stephanie, right?”“I do ... well, I don’t know, know her ... but I know who you’re talking about, yes.”Mercedes nodded. “Could I ... could we ask her to come out to stay with us? Would that be all right?”I was taken aback. Things between Mercedes and me had been going great. We fit together incredibly well—in bed and out of it. We did the morning farm chores together, fixed meals together, took walks almost down to the road, went horseback riding, and thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company.Or so I’d thought. Why was she wanting to bring someone out here who could only make it harder for Mercedes and me to connect on even deeper levels? On the other hand, her question had been about bringing Stephanie out to stay with “us,” which was an interesting way to phrase things.“Sure,” I said evenly. There was no sense throwing up roadblocks. If Mercedes didn’t want to be alone with me, it wasn’t.
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