I especially regret thatI was not made more people-smart. I regret not having a stronger, moreathletic, quicker, better coordinated body. This disability, besides mak-ing my childhood & adolescence a hell, because of the pervasive athleticism& machismo among the middle-American gentile males with whom I grew up,also prevented me from being as able a keyboard player as I should liketo have been--with so much of Rachmaninoff, Ravel, Liszt, Beethoven, &Schubert off limits to me--or as good a dancer. This kind of innateclumsiness isn't one of the things commonly considered birth defects, butthat's what it is, none the less. I also regret that my retirement turned out to be such a washout.I had hoped for a rich & rewarding post-retirement career, something thatwould keep me busy for another ten to twenty years & would provide--in myown mind, anyway--a sort of capstone to my life. (It would have had to bein my own mind, since your life has only such meaning as you are able toimpose on. She had come here meekly, obviously intending to submit to the death awaiting her. But now, with death so near, she was struggling like a tigress, slamming her body into Andrea, then twisting away to one side or throwing herself back against the fence, trying to get free.Andrea glanced down to see her thumbs digging very deep in Milla’s neck. Further down she could see her victim’s breasts heaving in a rapid, panting attempt to get air. And Andrea was breathing fast too. Holding onto Milla was getting harder as the struggles got wilder, and Andrea could feel a growing excitement, a tingling feeling in her breasts and between her legs. Andrea was almost surprised Milla hadn’t managed to break her spine with her violent struggles. Andrea looked up to Milla’s face again; the other woman’s eyes were starting to bulge from their sockets as she strained for air. This was a moment to savor; it was unlikely Andrea would ever again have someone’s life in her hands again. She held on tight and.
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