She has this spear and when she jabs you, you just start talking. I admit I didn't have a plan, other than to get it all out, so Chris could go "Ewwwwww" and run screaming from the car, yelling that she never wanted to see me again. But I couldn't even break up rationally. Here is what I said."I've been looking for this woman, because I feel in my gut she's my soul mate, except that I didn't know who she was, and then I bumped into you by accident and you're not her, but you helped me with the dog door, and you're so beautiful and I really tried to just be a pretend boyfriend, except that when you kissed me like that I thought I'd lose my mind and after that all I could think of was those kisses, and how it feels when you hug me, and I was going crazy because I pretended to have asthma even though I don't because all it is is that I can't breathe when I hear your voice, and I know it's making me crazy because my penis talks to me about you and I got jealous, which is really goofy. About 3 months after the wedding, Jake came to live with us in our guest room. He had just broke up with his boyfriend and needed a place to stay. I didn’t mind so much, I liked Jake. He was definitely the bull in the relationship, “the giver,” I could tell. So for the most part, he was pretty masculine. He liked sports and action movies, and beer, and seemed pretty much like a regular guy. He just liked men, so whatever. One night my wife told me she had unknowingly walked in on Jake jerking off. He was embarrassed and quickly hid his erection, but not before she got a chance to see it. “It was huge honey! Way more than twice as big as yours – it was the size of the cocks that I used to get fucked by before you. ” she laughed.She continued with the story. After calming down, and getting over themselves, Jake apologized, saying that he had just been horny, as he hadn’t had any action in a while. “It’s sad really honey, for a cock like that to go unpleasured. It should at least be.
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