There was just something about her, like the way she'd ask awkward questions at the worst possible times."So how many girls have you fucked?"Any other time I would have choked, but instead I laughed. I laughed so hard that I had to stop and hold my side, trying to get my breath back."What's so funny?" she asked. She didn't stop swinging, but she slowed down to look at me.That was something else about Tami: that look she could give me. Robbie had a look just about like it, but different. Hell, Mikee and Kelly had looks too. I wondered if they were born with it, or if there was a secret girl training camp somewhere."I was just think that one of the things that made you special was your talent for asking awkward questions." Then I asked an awkward question." It's a gift." With great power, comes great responsibility," she said, quoting Spider-man. "I'll try to use my powers for good." Ever watch Nick-at-Night?" Sometimes." Ever seen Murphy Brown?" I love that show." I can see you as. Bad traffic, and malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage.But more importantly for the story, it had been over 48 hours since I last took a dump. I tried to jump start the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with 6 cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell.As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the omission of the occasional tiny fart that big things would be happening soon.Alas, I had to stop by the mall to pick up an order for my fiancée. I completed this task, and I was walking past the stores on my way back to the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming "Everything Must Go!" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go.I hurried to the mall bathrooms. I surveyed the five stalls, which I have numbered 1 through.
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